The Grim Adventures of Solid Snake
by XxKiitSuN3xX-Death By Puppies
Summary: Created by the death by puppies team! Season 1
1. Episode 1

**THE GRIM ADVENTURES OF SOLID SNAKE**

**Nar2:** let=s let our story begin where it ends, and end where it begins. That being the end of the beginning, where our story starts to start and begins to begin, the ending of the beginning that starts the end of this story.

*BOOM-Large explosion in a deserted town*

Solid Snake: *Jumps out o back of a truck wearing a sombrero* Finally I'm in America. I knew that stupid border couldn't stop me, The Solid Snake. *Looks around* Wait a second...This isn't America. I've been tricked by Big Boss and his damned INS!!! *Turns and looks at truck driver*

Truck Driver: HA HA for no reason I'm going to fire this LAZAR!!! *Fires laser out of the back of the truck that launches snake to the beginning of Mgs4*

Snake:*gets call on the codec* Otacon!?...

Otacon:*200 seconds of silence*

Snake: I'm in a battlefield... People are...Fighting

Otacon: Don't interact with them Snake their not your enemy's and their enemies aren't your enemy's either. And I'm not sure but the enemy's of your enemy's that aren't your enemy's, could be the enemy's of their enemy's so their NOT your enemy's!!!

Nar2: Suddenly snake gets surrounded by Gekko metal gears

Otacon: Those are GEKKOS!

Snake: No their not! Their robots stuuuuupid

Otacon: Gekko metal gears, Snake

Snake: They don't look anything like gekkos thou-

Otacon: Don't interact with them snake! Their not your enemy=s!

Snake: But*Gekkos start shooting* AH!!! *Runs away from gekkos into a building*

Nar2: The gekkos follow snake and climb all over the building and do back flips off. Then they run off into the sunset...thats not setting.

Snake: pant-pant-pant I escaped...Barely

Otacon: good... I was worried snake...worried ....for a long time...iloveyou

Snake: What?

Otacon: I asked how you are

Snake: oh I'm fine! Everythings great! Lifelong war is FUN!..and the best part? I'm fucking OLD!

Otacon: You age faster because you're a clone

Snake: Ok im a clone but why am I old now...

Otacon: You see snake....you...are a clone

Snake: I already know that, but why in only 5 years did I go from being 35 years old to a 65 year old!?

Otacon: I can explain that! Years ago big boss wanted a clone to continue his legacy. Snake...you are his clone!

Snake: let me spell it for you! W-H-Y-A-M-I-O-L-D!!!???

Otacon: Snake...this may come as a shock to you...but.... you are a clone!

Snake:But wh-

Otacon- OF BIG BOSS!

Snake: forget it *hangs up*

Nar2:Snake walks through a battlefield. People are getting shot and exploding everywhere. Some of them run around screaming in flames and snake ignores it all. He walks into a building where Otacon calls him again.

Snake: WHAT NOW!!!???

Otacon:*screaming like a maniac* GIFTS, I BRING GIFTS!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Nar2: suddenly an eyepatch comes from nowhere and blows snake through a wall.

Snake:OW! What the fuck, an eyepatch. Way to make me look older asshole!

Otacon: Snake thats the solid eye. It's a magic eyepatch that lets you see everything!

Snake: So thats why there's all these unicorns everywhere!

Nar2: we zoom out to see unicorns all around snake

Otacon: No snake thats just a reaction to the brain trauma

Snake: oh....wait I cant see anything this thing only covers one eye, it makes my vision all blurry

Otacon: Yeah....I couldn't figure out how to make it cover both eye=s

Snake: Your...an idiot.

Otacon: HERE'S A ROBOT!!!!!

Nar2: a small hunk of flaming metal flies from the sky and smashes snake into the ground like a meteor.

Otacon: this is metal gear mark 2, he's just like rex except I took away anything useful that he might have

Snake: hes nothing like rex....he's tiny!!!

Otacon: no he's just like rex

Snake: If I remember correctly metal gear rex was like a kabagillion feet tall and I only fought him 8 years ago. All thats happened since than is that I've gotten older!

Otacon: Older, or bigger?

Snake: *sigh* so what's the point of this little thing?

Otacon: it's a tv. That we can see each other through...and it dances!

Mk2:*starts break dancing*

Snake: thats cool I guess

Mk2: *disappears*

Snake: that figures....it doesn't help at all....whatever.

Nar2: snake sneaks around doing several barrel rolls and flips even though there is no one around. Than Vamp appears on a roof.

Vamp: will you be the one to finally finish me?

Snake: No motherfucker! How many times do you fucking ask me? If you want to die so bad just jump off a fucking roof!

Nar2: Vamp jumps off the roof and all the cars in the area explode

Snake: let's go to seaworld, shamu do a flip!

Shamu: Iduwwana!

Snake: JERK!*shoots shamu* ok. Lets fight! * aims gun*

Vamp:* sticks out tounge*

Snake: yeah real mature!

Nar2:Vamps tounge grows and wraps around snake. Then he shakes him and millions of items fall out and explode upon contact with the floor.

Vamp: haw haw youh cand shtop mah toung

Nar2: vamps tounge is than cut in half and snake floats away

Raiden: but I can!

Vamp: Immortal?

Raiden: No im just not afraid of deaf

Deaf guy: Youh bedda be afwaid of me! * cuts off raidens arm*

nar2: vamp runs forward and stab Raiden through the chest and milk sprays out

Raiden: NO you hit my milk engine!

Vamp: MILK? My only weakness! *melts*

Raiden: I finally killed him snake, I* other arm falls off*- damn..

Snake: *appears* Wow you cool now.

Raiden: Yes more than I ever was I'm more than a character people want to know about... im a superhero* cape appears on back*

Snake: but Im the best hero...EVER!

Raiden: Not according to game informer magazine. I was rated the number two hero of 2008. You werent even on the list. People just love my redemption story.

Snake: Eh lets go on an adventure!

Raiden: No I need to dissapere for a long time and come back when your in danger!

Snake: this is a fanfic! Anything can happen *cupcake appears on head* so lets go on a adventure!

Raiden: Ok right no-

Otacon: IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!!!!!

**End OF PART ONE!**


	2. Episode 2

**THE GRIM ADVENTURES OF SOLID SNAKE Pt 2!**

Liquid: So we all agree right?

Frog1:Yes

Frog2:yes!

Frog3:yes!

Frogger:Ribbittttt yes

Frog4:Yes!

Frog5:yes!

Frog6:NO! *Jumps on table* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!NO!NO!NO!....No....no.....no*sits back down* no....

Liquid:*sips coffee,puts it down and it explodes* your right, it was a dumb idea......anyway....CARDS!!!!!!! *shoots cards out of sleeves*

Nar2:*codec rings*

Liquid: Hello?

Otacon:you're a clone! *hangs up*

Liquid:hmmmm that might be why im old!

Nar2: naked snake burst through the door with naked snake written backwards on his head.

NS: ONE.........BIG.......PLAN!!!!!*calmly leaves*

Liquid: *sips soda* one stupid plan...*puts soda down and it explodes* now to the next order of business.

Nar2: there is a bang

Liquid: my ol-

Nar2: there are two more bangs

Liquid: my old frei-

Nar2: the banging picks up and keeps going

Liquid- seriously?

Frog with giant boob- *mans voice* looks like someones getting lucky!

Liquid: WHAT!!!!! there is no sex allowed in this base!!! it's a rule! Written all over, see look! *points to a wall that has NO SEX written in big letters* now come out before I get angry

Nar2:the banging slows to a stop and Vamp and Naomi come out of the room.

Liquid:* gives them the evil eye* what were you guys doing in there?

Vamp: we were....ummmm..

Naomi: Building!

Vamp: Yeah building!

Liquid:orly? Building what?

Vamp: uh....a.....DOGGYSTYLE!I mean...um a doghouse!

Naomi: yeah...a....doghouse!

Liquid: why would you be building a doghouse? You don't have a dog!

Naomi: were getting one! Because....I have cancer!

Liquid: you know what I think; I think you were having sex!

Naomi: Na ah! We weren't, you don't have any proof!

Liquid: well...um....your name is I Moan backwards... it sounds like sex to me!

IMOAN: I HAVE CANCER

Liquid: *gasps* cancer...well whop-di-fucking-do, I'm old as shit, do you think I care?

Naomi: You're a Dick!!!! *Runs off*

Vamp:....

Liquid: So...uh....you hit that? *points*

Vamp: yeah...I hit that *smiles*

Nar2: they high five

**End of part 2**


	3. Episode 3

**The Grim Adventures Of Solid Snake Pt 3**

Otacon: Snake be careful. This is a stealth mission, if you need to get hostile use your tranquilizer gun, Snake? SNAKE? SANAAAKKKEEE?!!!

Snake: I hear ya' Otacon

Raiden: Who doesn't? Really is it necessary to scream at the top of your lungs?

Otacon: Snake...Your...a....CLONE!

Snake: Fuck you Otacon! *Hangs up and looks at Raiden* and you too, fuck you! Redemption story my ass! I should have been in that magazine! Im like 60 years old and I'm saving the fucking world. I guess saving the world doesn't make you a hero these days...

Raiden: I have turned into a god; I'm the awsomest person ever! Saving the world is so old, I got my heart broken and turned into a cyborg ninja!

Snake: no one cares nubface

Raiden: hey! Are you joking about the fact that I lack arms or are you calling me a noob?

Snake: BOTH!

Nar2: Otacon shows up on the codec with a girl behind him

Otacon: Snakes right, this mission is to dangerous; I've supplied you with a new tranq

Snake: how the fuck did you get back on?! Is that Naomi!?

Otacon: she's not your enemy snake!

Naomi: c'mon honey lets get back in the chopper I have a surprise for you

Nar2: the codec shuts off

Snake: damn that bitch is trifiling!

Raiden: Damn right!

Nar2: a large boat crashes through the ground, and explodes! Then UN-explodes and re-explodes again, leaving the ship undamamaged.

Liquid: *standing on boat* Ah brother! Nice of you to join us

Snake: um...you came here though..

Liquid: I did? Oh...well than...Say why don't we talk about my plan over something to drink?

Snake:OK

**30 Minutes Later**

Nar2: liquid, snake, and vamp are all sitting around a table smoking

Snake: vamp when did you start smoking?

Vamp: well I figured since it's not going to kill me or anything

Everyone: *laughs*

Snake: anyway let me get this straight. You *points to liquid* plan to control the world by using the patriots system to disable the weaponry, and you *points to vamp* aren't really immortal?

Vamp: *takes a puff of a ciggerate* essentially

Snake: and theres nothing I can do to stop this plan?

Liquid: not really...well maybe, but its very painful with all the microwaves and what not...

Snake: yeah I don't want to go through that..

Nar2: everything is silent and liwuid sips a drink he pulls from his jacket. He puts it down and it explodes

Snake: wow thats pretty fucked up...

Vamp: yeah ....I agree

Liquid: so after you guys did it... what happened with the whole dog house and new puppie?

Vamp: what do- oh yeah...the doghouse broke and the puppy burst into flames

Liquid: oh...im sorry for your loss.

Vamp: yes yes...I am too...*sheds a tear*

Snake: so is this all you guys do around here?

Liquid: pretty much *sips another drink that explodes before it touchs the table* So...uh...you guys want to hit up a strip joint?...I'll treat

Vamp and Snake: hell yeah!

Nar2: Raiden burst through a window

Raiden: never to fear Raiden is here!!*super hero cape appears on back* Snake I have come to save you! *super hero voice*

Snake: wait what? NOO! NO!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!

Nar2: Raiden picks up snake with his teeth and jumps out the window

Liquid: who the hell was that?

Vamp:*shrugs*

Liquid: well let's go to the strip club than

Vamp:*does weird sideways eyes smiley face*

Liquid: Don't do that!

**END OF THIS PART!!!**


End file.
